Troubling times

Last month I found a "Lump" in my right breast.I had already went for my 6 months check up and with our insurance changing and a $3,000 deductible I owe the entire amount,which with me buying my meds now out of pocket and paying bills here my little check isn't doing it.I canceled my doctors appt for today on Monday for the check up of my findings.When our insurance changed they sent my husband a Visa card for $600 to be used before Jan. 2014 for any payments to a doctor.He doesn't go till after which time he will receive another Visa for $600.I have NEVER lived a life where anything was done just for me if I didn't do it.What I am trying to say,finally the husband is tired of me.Who cares if it is or isn't anything.i am not to bother him,he has enough on him,lolololol SO Living with MS does take it tolls on marriages,relationships etc.I should not be surprised,when I was involved in an auto accident Christmas 2002 and had to have Cervical Fusion Surgery he didn't show,lolololol wow I am really stupid,no I am really scared.Please people if you do read this don't live your life in fear that I have for so long and knew deep down this day will come,just take the first step and don't wait for someone to tell you that don't give a (flip),not the word used,you get the idea.Please don't live your lives like mine,WE ARE ALL SO WORTH MUCH MORE.I am not sure if this will be my last blog or keep doing this,guess it depends.